baby steps, attainable goals, and grapefruit

My New Year’s Resolution for 2024 was to drink more water. 

I took a cue from a high school friend who, years ago, set his NY resolution to “eat more grapefruit”. At the time, I thought this was ridiculous, as though he was somehow cheating himself of a proper resolution. When I thought about it later, I loved it. How many of us set ourselves up for failure because we’re too ambitious with our resolutions? How much do you want to bet that he was successful in his goal to eat more grapefruit?

I loved my water resolution this year. In January, I was so successful that I decided to alter it a little. I’d set a monthly resolution. Each month I’d take on a new goal, focusing on one more small thing I wanted to do better. So for February, I aimed to look better in photos. Alcohol took a toll on my body and on my confidence, and I’m many moons older than I was before my descent into the depths of that hell, and let’s just say my camera skills leave a lot to be desired. I’m allowing myself to be seen again, but I’d like to feel better and more practiced while doing it. Social media is supposed to be part of any business strategy, and I adore Tiktok, but supposedly I have to show my face and be on it? I felt so insecure. 

February rolled around and I panicked. Two weeks in, I hadn’t taken a single photo.

And I was drinking less water.

Why? Why was a photo so much harder?

When I broke it down, I realized the error of my goal-setting, especially for an alcoholic with ADHD.

For one thing, I was working hard on this company, and I wasn’t socializing at all. I had zero opportunities to take photos.The resolution reminded me of how off-balance I was getting. 

This also meant I didn’t have a purpose or reason for the photos, other than theory/practice. It’s difficult to do this in a vacuum. It’s easier when there’s a tangible reason and goal you’re aiming toward. That’s why we have piano and dance recitals and baseball games as kids. Academic tests. We need to reach toward a measurable end point.

Lastly, it was too many steps. I think I would have been a lot more successful if I set my February resolution as: put on makeup for 5 minutes each day. Then for March: learning simple phone camera tricks to take simple selfies. Doing face relaxation meditations, and photographing several selfies/angles for 5 min each day. Then April? Angles. Poses. May? Why, lighting of course! It would take much longer to do things this way, but the results would be far longer lasting. My March resolution was supposed to be “no crumbs in my bed” but I think I’ll change it to the above. Vain? Maybe? But perhaps priceless to have photos and memories with me in them, looking confident.

After I broke down the reasons why my February resolution didn’t work, I was able to release my shame that I was unsuccessful in my goal. I calmed down and drank some water. Then I did something funny.

Free from my high expectations and sense of overwhelm, I got on TikTok and recorded a video of myself, talking about my company. I did it in one take. It wasn’t perfect, but I felt like I said the jist of what I wanted to convey.

 I posted it.

Here’s to low expectations, and breaking down our goals. May we all set our sights on grapefruit.

xox

melissa