What do "sexy" and "peaceful" have in common?
How do eroticism and zen-like relaxation correlate?
(…aside from the fact that they’re both bedroom related…wait… #getreadywithme… omg is my niche literally just… bedroom?! I digress)
I’ve been wondering, if, as a brand, it’s too divergent to focus on these two primary aromatic treatment modalities at once: sensuality and relaxation. Aromatically, my interests have been walking these two avenues the most, parallel but separate. We know that the mind, body, soul and spirit are all divinely connected (like, duh) but it’s been feeling like I’m flipping back and forth between the two sectors in too fragmented a way.
I made a tiktok for tiktok shop, where I thought I’d instantly go viral even if I sold earwax, because that’s how everyone is making it seem!, but it’s been such a slog. I really hate being on camera. I’d much prefer to let the work speak, but the chunk of time spent trying to “crack the algorithm” is diluting time that could be spent on the work, period. Why have I been doing this? Because 1. I used to really love TikTok, and 2. that’s what everyone is saying on YouTube and on podcasts: just produce more, do more, get out there.
Well, it’s tedious and vapid and devoid of much heart or soul, and most videos feel more stupid than the one before. Some of them I like. I’ve been posting “mood boards of the day”, and I think that fits in with my ethos and the idea that we can try different vibes, identities and flavors. Nobody is beholden to one “Look” or Subculture, and especially not one Scent. I use social media as a place to dream, so I think it tracks. But niching has been a problem since I made the account. I’ve watched my views go down, down, down since I started. I’m niched in with fragrance and it’s all at-home perfumers, body-butter creators, candle-makers and spiritual healers, doing the same things I’m doing, and they clearly do not want to see my content… some of my videos get like, 3 views. Now I feel like I can’t get out of this hole. I tried posting broader stuff, but Tiktok isn’t responding… I thought I had a clear sense of my brand and vision but I have zero clue how to find my target audience on this platform.
I took a day “off” from brand and product development today, and cleaned my bedroom. I write this from a clean, restful bed set-up, and it feels so good. I haven’t been in here at all since I launched this business venture, and I missed this room! I still feel like I’m racing, but I’m more relaxed today, after cleaning. I prayed to God. I decided I’d ask God for guidance via journal and pen, but before I sat down to do so, my anxious TikTok thoughts raced to land on a decision. I’ll just give up; it’s not my audience. No!— I’m just new— I’ll just try harder. Harder, better, faster.
I logged on from my computer desktop to see if there were any lighting tips I could set up in my (now cleaner) bedroom to join the TikTok fray in even more mindless ways— outfits of the day!—and it auto-logged me in with my personal email, which I haven’t used on the platform since 2022 or so.
My personal TikTok #foryou page is... wonderful.
It’s so much fun.
It’s full of stuff I like.
There’s humor, cultural commentary, thoughtful filmmaking, beautiful visuals and delicious audio-- lots of ASMR, which I love!— heartwarming footage, humanist (/hedonist?… epicurean!) enjoyment, and generally intentional content that’s clever and pretty and yummy and exciting and interesting. None of the horribly-shot, slap-ditch haphazard content that desperate businesses are churning out as they try to offer “five tips for quick xyz” in efforts to get rich quick. My business page has been feeding me nothing but garbage from this latter category, and I in turn, have been copying it and serving it: feeding back into the ouroboros of capitalism crud. No wonder I’ve been feeling like crap about TikTok.
My personal page, on the other hand, is full of art, fed to me in delicious 7-second spoonfuls.
It’s what I adored about TikTok when I first logged on in 2020, and why I wanted to return to the platform for this venture.
It’s smart. It’s sensual. It’s sensory and mindful.
Sensuality and sex, like food, social media content, or anything else, can be mindful or they can be gratuitous. Or both. Sensory or senseless.
We can choose whether to act intentionally or not. We can choose to indulge with presence, or tune out and hurry through.
This thought process amusingly brought me back to my strip club days ages ago, when the biggest note that the strippers would teach to the new girls when they’d dance for the first time was… slow down. So many newbies (and so many people generally in the world, I'd say) tried/try to be sexy by hopping frantically to the beat, dancing like they're at da club, 8-counting to the rhythm and not stopping to think about sensuality and their own bodies at all. That's... fine, I guess, if you're into that, but moving slowwlllyyyy, even though it feels unnatural at first, is sensual, both to practice and to behold. You become aware of every single detail and facet of your body and the space around you (I wound up teaching an unofficial Stripper 101 course to other girls in college... one of their more useful courses in the curriculum, many told me).
Slow down.
The sexiness, the sensuality, the relishing— the experiencing of the senses— is when you stop to be mindful, present, and intentional.
So I’m going to take it slower, and pay attention to what I want to convey as I go forward with Tiktok. I’m not going to worry about these algorithm bulletpoints. I’ll find my audience by making stuff I like and stand behind.
As always, God is in the details, and in the noticing and appreciation. So if that results in less Tiktok content, well… thank goodness. I’d much rather have smaller, denser servings than empty calories.
And the desire to focus on both “sensuality” and “peace”? Maybe what I’ve been wanting to create and deliver is simply mindfulness. A sensory experience in each product. ...Truer things.
Not as unrelated as I previously thought.
xxxo melissa
